LIFESTYLE
Originally published on Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Just A Notch in the Bedpost
UJ News update:
At the emergency international WIN (Women's Intelligence Network) summit held yesterday, the Spanish contingent unanimously voted that the ‘credit crunch’ will not be accepted as a valid excuse for ignoring Valentine's Day.
Male pleas of cancelled bonuses, job loss and/or "just not feeling it" will be met with serious sulking, tears and possible bodily harm.
Furthermore, in celebration of the spirit of impending socialism, WIN has decided to judge the male folk collectively this year. So if even one of you wankers decide to Houdini this year – hiding out at the Bagdad club until the 15th, let's say – no one, we repeat, no one, will be getting any action.
WIN has further recommended that those WIN members either married or in committed relationship begin careful tracking.
Not your finances, clearly. We still recommend a head in the sand approach. No, we at UJ recommend you chart the peaks – and impending valleys – of your romantic relations during these challenging times with Bedposted.com, ensuring that the epidemic of the "male headache" does not cause widespread hysteria, stress, and psychosis within the female community.
No news yet whether Bedposted.com can include a scoring system and annual review function but, unlike most companies, we ladies still offer performance bonuses.
Bedposted.com
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