Nightlife
Originally published on Tuesday, 4th November 2008
Members Bars
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Blacks
Best for: Understated posing: subtle charm and civilised relaxation.
What they say: Shhhhh... you'll have to get in to find out.
How much: Annual £300 plus registration fees, other options include out of town and abroad memberships, but nothing for the young 'uns.
Length of application/what they ask: Again, 'it's a secret'.
What you need: A Proposer who has the time to watch you fill in an on-site application, as they'll have to take you down there as their guest.
Got a hope in hell?: Apparently there’s a file of applications which is delved into at the owner’s/ committee’s discretion; could take weeks, could take months.
Contact details: 67 Dean Street, W1D 4QH - 020 7287 3381
Century
Best for: Media types in need of a little piece and quiet. Get back in touch with God as you look over the greenery of St Anne's Church. Alternatively descend into the bar and atone for your sins later.
What they say: “The private member's club of Soho”
How much: Annual £500, Out of Town £400, Overseas £360, Under 25s £225, plus a non-refundable £100 registration fee.
Length of application: Easy two pages, but you need to include a letter outlining details of your background, work, and why you wish to join.
What they ask: Very little.
What you need: Proposer, seconder, photo.
Got a hope in hell?: Considered to house the 'spill-over' from Soho House, you may well get in if this is your first choice. Be sure you want it though, as the registration fee is a goner once you've signed, whether they let you in or not.
Contact details: 61-63 Shaftesbury Avenue, W1D 6LQ - 02075343080
Web: www.centuryclub.co.uk
The Groucho Club
Best for: The old school literary world reborn. If it all gets too much, check into one of the 19 bedrooms and sleep it off.
What they say: “More exclusive than the SAS and nearly as tough to get in; more mysterious than the Mason's, with an initiation ceremony that would make a Ninja faint.”
How much: Full: £550, Under 35: £415, Under 28: £300, plus some quite extreme joining fees. No payments will be processed until membership is approved.
Length of application: Pen friendly two pages.
What they ask: It's all terribly sensible stuff.
What you need: Two proposers and patience; both are contacted for letters of recommendation before the Committee meets 'at their convenience'.
Got a hope in hell?: Well, even if you fit the criteria and are accepted, you're still facing an 18 month waiting list.
Contact details: 45 Dean Street, W1V 5AP, 020 7439 4685
Web: www.thegrouchoclub.com
The Hospital
Best for: Arty media types in need of a private gallery and recording studio.
What they say: “Creative thinking, entrepreneurship and entertainment: all things The Hospital stands for.”
How much: Annual: £550, Out of Town: £450, International: £400, Under 30s: £300 plus £150 joining fees, under 30s exempt.
Length of application: Eight pages
What they ask: "What do you do, who do you do it for?" It could go so wrong.
What you need: A job in the creative industries, a picture, and a Proposer.
Got a hope in hell?: The committee will decide. Attach your loveliest photo and try and keep up with the 'quirky' questioning.
Contact details: 24 Endell Street, WC2H 9HQ , 020 7170 9100
Web: www.thehospitalclub.com
Shoreditch House
Best For: Next Gen media types
What they say: “A meeting place for the new generation of Eastenders.”
How much: Local House £700, Every House £900, Under 27s £500, plus £150 registration fees. No payments will be processed until membership is approved.
Length of application: Six pages.
What they ask: 'What makes you laugh (in 10 words)?' Knock-knock jokes are out.
What you need: A Proposer and a Seconder who are already members of any of the Houses, a photo, and a Gucci bikini.
Got a hope in hell?: It's full for Founder members; but with committee meetings every few months, you could be enjoying the heated pool come winter.
Contact details: Ebor St, E1 6AW, 020 7851 1182
Web: www.shoreditchhouse.com
Bungalow 8
Best For: Cocktails, Club nights and Morgans Hotel Group upgrades.
What they say: “The chicest addition to London’s thriving nightlife.”
How much: UK members £350, Overseas: £100.
Length of application: 1 page
What they ask: "Do you belong to other clubs? List them." We didn't know this was a popularity contest.
What you need: To not bring press or press photographers. This is a celebrity HAVEN people. Hmmm.
Got a hope in hell? Applications reviewed at quarterly membership meetings.
Contact details: 45 St Martins Lane, WC2N 4HX - 0207 300 5576
Web: www.bungalow8london.com
Bureau
Best For: Bespoke West-end glam.
What they say: “Unparalleled exclusivity and sophistication.”
How much: Single: £350, Out of Town: £225, Overseas: £150, Weekday £175.
Length of application: 1 page.
What they ask: What kind of music you like so they can compile personalised playlists.
What you need: The swipe card.
Got a hope in hell? Anyone can apply for membership, though you’ll first need to meet with the club's Membership Director after which it goes to the one monthly committee meeting; which is the approximate waiting time to get in.
Contact details: 13 Kingly Court, W1B 5PW - 0207494 4386
Web: www.bureauclub.com
The East Room
Best For: The finest wines available to humanity.
What they say: “No formal vetting and approval procedures, no referees or contacts required. In short, nothing wanky.”
How much: International: £350, Local (women only): £150, plus £50 joining fees.
Length of application: Easy online page.
What they ask: Bare essentials.
What you need: Act like a grown up.
Got a hope in hell? Membership has just closed, so get onto the waiting list for the next round; as there are no formal vetting/approval procedures, referees or contacts required, you just need to be patient.
Contact details: 2a Tabernacle Street, EC2A 4LU - 07000 847876
Web: www.thstrm.com
Milk & Honey
Best For: Secret doorway to a candlelit speakeasy.
What they say: “No name-dropping, no star f*cking.”
How much: International: £350 plus £50 joining fees.
Length of application: Easy online page.
What they ask: Bare essentials.
What you need: A torch.
Got a hope in hell? Membership has just closed so get on top of the waiting list for the next round.
Contact details: 61 Poland Street, W1F 7NU, 07000 655 469
Web: www.mlkhny.com
Maya
Best For: Poseurs paradise behind velvet rope culture.
What they say: “If you’re not inside, you’re outside.”
How much: You won’t know til you’re invited.
Length of application: Ditto
What they ask: "Are you: Super cool, super hot, super A list, super busy, or none of the above?" Think carefully now…
What you need: Connections.
Got a hope in hell? Membership is strictly by invitation only. Make the effort and you fly straight in; if not, then it’s back of the queue for you.
Confusing contradiction? That’s verbatim people.
Contact details: 1A Dean Street, W1D 3RB - 0207 287 9608
Web: www.mayalondon.com
Soho House
Best For: Unrelenting cool for media-land’s cognoscenti.
What they say: “A Private Members Club in the heart of Soho.”
How much: Local House: £600, Every House: £900, Under 27: £250, plus £150 registration fee, Under 27s exempt.
Length of application: 7 pages
What they ask: "How would your friends describe you?"
What you need: A photograph and intimate knowledge of when/where/why you would use the club’s facilities.
Got a hope in hell? Well the waiting list has no definite period and they’ll review you every three months.. so at least you’ll know they’ll continue to dislike you should you not get in after a few rounds.
Contact details: 40 Greek Street, W1D 4EB, 0207 734 5188
Web: www.sohohouselondon.com
Paramount
Best For: Arts meets Commerce with a view form the top.
What they say: “Bringing together a wide range of London’s leading influential communities – not just one or two – to meet, eat, drink, relax and exchange ideas.”
How much: Annual £750 p/a, Out of Town £500 p/a, Overseas £400 p/a, Under 30s £45 pcm plus £150 joining fee.
Length of application: 1, rather horizontal, page.
What they ask: Address, Direct debit details, Done.
What you need: Proposer, Seconder, and a winning smile.
Got a hope in hell? The membership selection committee of 20-25 people is being co-chaired by Alan Parker and Stephen Fry. They will meet to discuss potential memberships, and are in the process of building up the club's 500 founders. So get in line and sort your QI knowledge.
Contact details: Centre Point, 101 – 103 New Oxford Street, WC1A 1DD, 0207 379 5484
Web: www.paramount.uk.net
The Met Bar
Best For: Celeb spotting and their fab Midnight menu.
What they say: “London's byword for cool and sophisticated.”
How much: Well, technically it’s free; but what would you sell for that all important invite? How much is your soul worth, eh?
Length of application: 1 page
What they ask: Preferred drink/musical tastes and any interest in cabaret?
What you need: Contact Jamie Holloway, Met Bar Membership Secretary, on +44 (0)20 7447 4757 to request an access code for the online application form.
Got a hope in hell? Sure, once you’re in it’s only a three week wait.
Contact details: 19 Old Park Lane, London W1K 1LB, 020 7447 1000
Web: www.metbar.co.uk