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Thespian Antics
Toy theatre from V&A Museum of Childhood

Big Brother is utter crap. But no matter how much we moan, it's easy to get sucked in, isn't it?

By week four we're usually hooked, watching the late-night live portion hoping we'll get a glance of the hanky-panky before anyone else.

This year, we're taking a stand. No, really. We're ignoring the pundits and morons who say BB is Shakespeare for the Noughties. We're more cultured than that. Instead, we're planning a summer of proper theatre, starting with Shakespeare. We can't wait for the Cheek by Jowl production of the Bard's anarchic classic Cymbeline, which runs at Barbican 'til June 23.

Sick of watching small-screen half-wits trying to net that all-important record career? So are we. For a quality sing-a-long - and to ogle a cast that includes Honor Blackman, James Dreyfus and Kim Medcalf - plump for the stylish new production of Cabaret at the Lyric.

And who wants to watch eleven mouthy birds rip each other apart for three months? We can do that at the office. Why not sample, instead, a piece of 'verbatim theatre', The Gay Man's Guide, which examines the lives of 50 men, from all walks of life, in their own words.

Oh sod it, book The Mousetrap for all we care! But don't, whatever you do, admit to tuning into C4 at 9pm.

Cymbeline at Barbican until June 23
Cabaret at the Lyric Shaftesbury Avenue
The Gay Man's Guide at Drill Hall

by SE
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