DAY 1 & 2 • DAY 3 & 4 • DAY 5 & 6 • DAY 7 & 8 • DAY 9 & 10

Twelve days of raw food will, the Raw Fairies assure me, change my life. Delivered every morning in brown paper bags, an array of fruit, veg, and sprouted items I never knew existed arrive blended, mashed, and liquefied for my pleasure, along with a cacophony of purifying pills. As a fan of the three Cs (Chocolate, Cheese, Carbs) I'm sceptical. And scared.

DAY THREE

I’ve been getting deliveries with someone called Don’s name written on my little freezer bags of pills. I take comfort in knowing that someone else out there is doing this, and he, potentially, isn’t even approaching it in the name of investigative journalism. I wonder if I could convince the courier man to tell me where he lives.

Courier man, by the by, has yet to turn up wearing either a tutu or fairy wings. I think, considering the name of the company, it is only appropriate he play the part.

The mega salad today was quite manageable, though I have to say bee pollen for breakfast was a somewhat strange choice – it tastes furry and not much like honey. That’s the joy of biscuits: look like biscuits, taste like biscuits.

Today’s dreaded green juice was relegated down the plughole after three mouthfuls. I love that the only thing I absolutely cannot swallow, has become the mainstay of every morning’s delivery.

Hello, my name is Martina, and I am not Don (though we may be meant to be).

DAY FOUR

 
One of the vegetables in my lunch looks suspiciously like it might have tentacles. And suckers. Even at this stage of starvation, I won’t eat suckers. As a committed vegetarian, Addie assures me that it’s entirely natural and safe. But I’m still not fully on board with the vegetables tentacles.

Despite being early summer, I think I’m freezing to death. Currently I’m wearing a vest, arm-warmers, a jacket, and a shirt. Oh, and mustard hunting socks. If anyone walked in now asking to speak to the fashion editor, they’d be in for a terrible shock. I wonder where all the toxins are going? Were they inadvertently keeping me warm? Or has my body run out of things to digest and given up on metabolism in protest?

Whilst I’m not that hungry any more – just tired – the cravings remain abundant. Right now I want cheese. Cheese, served on a huge plate made of cheese, with melted cheese on top of cheese, and maybe a side order of cheese. B*stard BBQ place next door is also driving me slightly insane with wafts of meaty goodness.

Hello, my name is Martina, and I have begun hallucinating.

Raw Faires - 12 Day Transformation Cleanse

by MaM

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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.