Here in London, we really do know how to kill a trend. We usually burn through things pretty fast, but some things - burlesque comes to mind - just bloody well won't go away.

Most burlesque events are nothing more than some chubby girls attempting to spin their breasts in nipple tassels. Neither arousing or entertaining, which is really the whole point of burlesque, right?

The papers were recently on about the fact that there has never been more to do in London. But, truthfully, we're not feeling that there's much going on that speaks to us. So lately, we’ve started to suck beers in the UJ office. Sad, I know. But four years into the job, it does take quite a lot to get our attention.

Recently, however, we've been gung ho to go dancing. Really get dressed up, dump your hand/manbag in the corner, make a fool of yourself dancing. And you'd think, in a city of this size, with our intimate knowledge of everything out there, we'd be able to reel off a few places. But we are utterly, utterly stumped (readers, please send ideas - I've already bought a new dress in preparation).

Our criteria is very reasonable, too. Priority is finding somewhere that's FUN. The kind of place, no matter how hungover the morning after, you're still damn glad you went out. We'd also like somewhere (club or event, not picky) that's not an absolute nightmare to get into. So, if three extra friends show up, we have to do a runner on them. Good music, good cocktails, and good party looks would be nice, too.