Dedicated egotism and one-off escapism, undead rock and timeless history, bleeping carnage and 19th century opera. Since this leap year's Feb 29th falls on a Friday, if you squint your eyes just so, you can almost pretend that it's a free day. And how do you celebrate a free Friday? Exactly. And because we love you all so much, we've even got some free music for you from the lovely folks at Don't Panic.

This weekend's guide is brought to you together with the Gielgud's production of Pirates of Penzance. Ending this weekend, this is your last chance to catch one of Gilbert and Sullivan's much loved operettas, here starring Jo Brand as the Sergeant of the Police, ere it raises anchor and sets sail for distant lands. Sorry: 'matey'.comedy.

Last Tuesday Society Leap Year Party
When I was a sprog, I thought it would be immeasurably cool to be born on February 29th. Technically, I reasoned, it would mean that by only having a birthday every four years I would thus live to an average 320 years. Ah, kid logic. Personal oddness aside, celebrate the missing day with Wynd and Suzette in a more realistic style, as they do their quirky, retro-DJ, ball gown and cheese board thing.

Vampire Weekend
After their slightly embarrassing (but well-saved) hiccup with last month's Radiohead performance, the Rough Trade East folks are jumping back onto the free gig wagon tonight, and their doing it with style. Everyone's favourite tipped-for-the-top, more-than-Indie band, Vampire Weekend, are on hand to help revive the briefly dented Brick Lane favourite, with an intimate (read: slightly crammed) set from their debut album and new single.

Red Death Quantum Leap
The Battersea Arts Centre's Masque of the Read Death has garnered something of a cult following throughout the city. If you didn't manage to nab a ticket for this boundary-dissolving delight of masked ball dress-up and interactive theatre before it sold out all the way into April, then this one-of special could be your best chance. But be quick, as tickets are going fast.

Hidden Spaces and History
Finding your way around London can be a bit of mystery; but a wonderful one, mind. All those nooks and crannies, the winding 18th century side streets, the 15th century villages, and that's just the roads. Get inside somewhere like Somerset House meanwhile, and it comes alive with the relentless curiosities of 18th century beauty and intrigue and, yep, even more mystery.

Future World Funk
You know all the musical presumptions you have (and don't get tetchy: I share most of them), like that all good hip hop comes from the States and Samba is just that traditional, slightly sleazy South American dance? Well think again, as Moni nestles in with the FWF crew to decimate such musicalism with Turkish techno, Jewish dub, Cuban dancehall and more than you can possibly imagine at this boundary-shattering dancefloor favourite.

Nish Nish
After last month's agonisingly massive launch bash, Nish Nish are back to pack out Platinum's 600 capacity vintage townhouse with a veritable horde of party-craving dance-addicts, which shouldn't be a problem considering their line-up includes a live set from Radikal Groove and Fluokids' Casper C, Codex's Nico de Ceglia, Variance's Laura Heat, Nish Nish originals Ben and Smit, and Wet Yourself's Cormac.

Bloggers Delight
Assuming he's still capable of movement after Nish Nish, Cormac should be joining Skull Juice for this oddball blend of Sunday hangover lunch meets carry-on drinking. And whilst you're busy getting messy amidst a fun barrage of everything from classic pop/rock to deep and dirty minimal from Yuksek, Boy 8 Bit, Midfield General and Stopmakingme, spare a moment and wonder where all the kids get their DJ aliases from these days.

Alexander Nevsky: Live to Projection
Renowned for his socio-political focus and pioneering use of montage, Sergei Eisenstein's Alexander Nevsky was not only his first film to use sound, but also one of his most popular. Its screening at the Barbican tonight is doubly enthralling, as Prokofiev's stirring score gets the live soundtrack treatment from the London Symphony Orchestra and Chorus, conducted by the New York Philharmonic's Xian Zhang.

Wet Yourself
You know those weeks you have, where the weekend can't come quick enough even though it's still only Thursday, but then when you get there it's gone in a flash? Well, behold your salvation. If filthy electro, bastardized pop, minimal mayhem and dirty techno even remotely scratch your itch, then you know what to do: pack that skimpy-retro bikini, head East, and squeeze every last drop out of Sunday.

Ceramic Art London
When is a plate not a plate? A teapot a thousand times more than a teapot? I have a dirty secret, you see. Ceramics: I love 'em. All those clean lines, those sharp edges, those ingenious reinterpretations of form and function. If you've ever whiled away even a speck of your life in Marshall Street's Contemporary Ceramics, then you know what I mean. Whether relentlessly modern, traditionally inspired, thoroughly avant-garde, international or inventive, when is a teapot not a teapot? When it's dining table art.

Philip Akkerman
Like a modern day Dorian Gray or Narcissus, any artist who dedicates over 25 years of his life to painting nothing but himself, in various guises, locations, moods, poses, situations, and styles, is either going to be a breathing egotistic nightmare or, assuming he pushes through to the other side, a creature of tortured charm. Whilst the jury is still at least fractionally out on the Dutch artist Philip Akkerman and his 2,400 self-portraits, there is an undeniable quality to his work; a stirring honesty and power that is nothing if not intriguing.

Tosca
Puccini's famed rendition of the Napoleonic tale of Tosca is certainly one of his darker and most memorable operas. And, with its treasured characterisation - who can forget the lovers, Tosca and Cavaradossi, the basso buffo, the Sacristan, or the villainous chief of police, Scarpia - and incredible score played by the Royal Philharmonic and sung in Amanda Holden's English translation, David Freeman's production is a stunner. Throw in a fantastic cast and David Roger's luscious set and costume designs, and this production is an absolute winner for operatic fans and first-timers alike.

The More Assured
The More Assured are Al, Slinky, Matt and Steve - three Techincolour teenagers with a penchant for taking their clothes off and driving their hormonally unstable female fans wild. Sounding a lot like they look, though possibly more art-pop than pop-art, the band spout up-tempo classics that are destined to be massive.