I don’t get sick often. When I do, it’s either ludicrous (perforated foot: entirely my fault) or immediate hospitalisation (dengue fever: damn mosquito’s fault).

People used to joke that Hallmark had a card for every occasion. But we know the truth. The US-based Someecards.com is where to go for all your holiday and non-holiday needs. I once dumped a guy with the “Take some time to be alone with your penis” card, which was - from what I hear - exactly what he did.

Ah, the great London commute. Being a creative type I'm fortunate enough to be based in the backstreets of Soho, so the only thing that stresses me out is the bus driver at the beginning of route 137, who relishes in making me wait in the rain whilst he has a twenty-minute conversation on his mobile, feet on the dash, before opening the doors.?

This may come as a surprise to anyone who recalls my aversion to ferns (suspicious little buggers), but when it comes down to it, I love the wind in my hair and the sun on my back more than anything else. And clearly I’m not the only one yearning for a touch of green in the city.

Between credit crunches, environmental hazards, and congestion charges, life can get pretty stressful. Whilst Boris concentrates on reviving London’s hidden rivers à la Time Team, UJ’s been looking to more immediate revival strategies.

Craving some real excitement and a bit of personal growth? Here are our picks for your physical, mental and sexual betterment.