WEDNESDAY
FEBRUARY 11, 2009 |
Just
A Notch in the Bedpost |
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UJ
News Update:
At the emergency international WIN (Women's
Intelligence Network) summit held yesterday,
the Spanish contingent unanimously voted
that the 'credit crunch' will not be accepted
as a valid excuse for ignoring Valentine's
Day. |
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Male
pleas of cancelled bonuses, job loss and/or
"just not feeling it" will be
met with serious sulking, tears and possible
bodily harm.
Furthermore, in celebration of the spirit
of impending socialism, WIN has decided
to judge the male folk collectively this
year. So if even one of you w*****s decide
to Houdini this year - hiding out at the
Bagdad club until the 15th, let's say
- no one, we repeat, no one, will be getting
any action.
WIN has further recommended that those
WIN members either married or in committed
relationship begin careful tracking.
Not your finances, clearly. We still
recommend a head in the sand approach.
No, we at UJ recommend you chart the peaks
- and impending valleys - of your romantic
relations during these challenging times
with Bedposted.com,
ensuring that the epidemic of the "male
headache" does not cause widespread hysteria,
stress, and psychosis within the female
community.
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