We know all about that damned mortal coil. You work, work, and then work some more. Isn't that how it goes? And with so many things to see and people to do, life, in the immortal words of Professor Bueller, moves pretty fast. Maybe it's time to stop and look around, so you don't miss it. Or you could just drink and dance your way through instead.

This weekend's guide is brought to you in association with Cabaret at the Lyric Theatre, where the current production of Kander and Ebb's legendary Weimar Berlin musical has garnered incessant praise. Click here for more details on the great ticket offer that we've cooked up with the lovely folks over at the Lyric for all you lovely UJ subscribers.

Friday Late: Blood on Paper
The V&A are encouraging the defacing of books with your doodling and calling it art - well it's not their exact pitch, but they are exploring the art of the book through artists exhibits, talks and workshops. Have a gander and decide if books are dead before heading home and getting back online where its safe.

Deranged and Demented
You have to wonder sometimes, what goes through folks' heads when they come up with their event names. Can you imagine the scene? "I know! We'll call our night deranged and demented. That'll keep the crowds a really friendly bunch." Thankfully the sweet mix of sexy minimal and deep house should simultaneously keep the demented and deranged preoccupied, whilst making it Friday-perfect for the rest of us.

Be
With the demise of the Old Proud (and yes, I promise to stop harking on about it soon enough), it was perhaps the Saturday Be nights that we missed the most. But guess what? That's right: new Proud, new Be. No Hamlet puns, no Cartesian ridiculousness, just top bands like They Came From The Stars... I Saw Them, great DJs, and a shameless touch of theatricality.

Gajin Fujita: Pacific Tsunami
Pacific Tsunami -not the boxing day disaster, but Gajin Fujita's new show which takes graffiti, hip hop, and traditional Japanese figures and layers them up with bits of white gold and gold leaf. A load of hot air or a storming success? Hmm.

Verde's Requiem
I have a close friend who insists that 'The Greatest Arias in the World', Parts 1 and 2, contain all the classics that any normal human being could ever need. Needless to say, my frustrated rage is guaranteed. "Classical soundbiting be damned! But what about," I mutter between rasped gasps, "the whole of Holst's The Planets, and not just Mars? And Handel's Rinaldo? And Verdi's Requiem?" 90 minutes of emotional rollercoaster right there.

Neon Noise Project
Big news these days, Canadian DJ deities du jour Mstrkrft are headlining this gut-trembling, knee-jerking, bass-pounding example of how parties are meant to be. When you get the likes Kitsune's Jerry Bouthier and Autokratz, Tronik Youth, Boombox's DJ ROkk and Blogger's Delight residents, Skull Juice et al., in the role of support guests, that alone tells you quite how huge this is going to be.

Skin+Bones: Parallel Practices in Fashion and Architecture
Snails have it made really; their shells count as cover and couture - perfect if this exhibition's raison d'etre is anything to go by - fashion and architecture. Sadly no appearance from the old lady who lives in her shoe.

Eartha Kitt
She's written about being a sex kitten, been Cindi's fairy godmother, a cabaret star, and the original catwoman in her 80 odd years, whose skills range from singing to dancing to acting to peeling an apple with her tongue (probably) And she's performing tonight. Miaow.

Wills & Moody Rock n Roll Jumble Sale
No better way to make your weekend complete than with a bit of bargain hunting. Taking the jumble sale of yore (that well known jumble hot spot) and adding a bar and music to the proceedings, it's a world away from the nasty high street hustle. If that's not bargain enough, try The Jumble Ball for a good old rummage.