Alive At Night
Sure, it's a shameless tie-in for the new Nokia, but although entirely photographed through its tiny mobile lens, it is legendary photographer David Bailey doing the shooting. So we'll forgive him. Entitled 'Alive at Night', Bailey spent a night trawling around London documenting the hidden lives of the city's night owls, including glamourous burlesque dancers and less-glitzy transport workers, the guy who does the Jack the Ripper tours around Whitechapel, sandwich-makers in Brick Lane and, somewhat bizarrely, a man dressed as a vampire.

Colourscape
With a mission to bring back the old-fashioned house party, The White Blackbird have so far enchanted us with PJs and a Futurist feast. Next up? A techni-colour themed ball of course! Tonight's event includes rainbow-hued performances, a 1950s cocktail lounge with a multi-coloured menu, vintage bouncy castle and old-fashioned cinema screenings. You'll even be shuttled there and back, unless you choose to make a night of it and book a room at the beautiful Stoke Place. Always nice to be vomiting rainbows in someone else’s commode come morning, no?

Michael Jackson Thriller World Record Attempt
T-Mobile dancers: excellent. T-Mobile singers: less excellent. Chanel: sadly lacking. So whilst we're kind of over flashmobs, we can't help but be tempted to get our Zombie on for this dance-a-thon in Hyde Park which doubles as an attempt to smash the world record for most dancers in one place doing the Thriller routine (is it just us or are Guiness getting horribly inclusive in their record requirements?). Seeing as the current record is held by a load of Phillipino prisoners in orange jumpsuits, we reckon we can spare a bit of the bank holiday weekend for choreographed shoulder shrugging. MJ would be so proud.

Tabernacle Local Launch
Given that the last time I made it down to Carnival I emerged from Westbourne Grove station just in time to catch a gaggle of St John's Ambulancers nonchalantly ignoring a throng of pukers huddled over the gutter, you can understand why I skipped last year. This year, though, The Tabernacle's official relaunch is calling my name, as the full Notting Hill effect swirls around this piece of local history, Don Letts screens his new flick, and I drink a few to celebrate (in strict moderation, of course).

Bank Holiday All Dayer
The Old Queens Head are seeing off August like it should be: with a good old knees up spanning a hefty 12 hour slot. The music kicks off with ‘50s and ‘60s beats to get you in the mood; then there will be guest DJ sets from the like of The Rakes throughout the night to keep proceedings nice and up-tempo. And surely it'll be all the more enjoyable knowing that you can have a leisurely Monday to recover it.

ETA Carnival After Party
Estimated Time of Arrival? Of what, pray? Of Armageddon? Of the 10:15 train to Hangoversville? E.T.A., those purveyors of one-off nights of mayhem are back on track out West with a mouth-watering dusk-till-dawn offering of Carnival-distraction, served alongside a healthy side-order of booze, big name DJ types (Nextmen, Bushwacka, Lazersonic, etc.) and all the usual cracking trouble that they’re so good at hooking up. Oh, and did I mention the yurts? Yes, they have yurts. Now who doesn’t love a sexy bit of yurt action…

Rif Raf
So you held out this far. You avoided the great ocean of revellers, the flowing tides of sound systems, the relentless downpour of alcohol. You passed on the Tabernacle and ETA brouhahas and even Paradise's DJ Yoda shindig last night… Well fear not: it ain't over yet. With a Carnival Carnage special cocktail on the menu plus a special Rif Raf offering with everyone's favourite Rumble Strips slipping behind the wheels-of-steel to pack the house out for yet another Bank Holiday, there's still time to tap that West London loving. Thank buggery we've got Tuesday off to recover. Oh.

Rider!
And breathe. Here's a little something to wind down your Bank Holiday weekend assuming that a) you've had your alco-fill and b) you fancy being outside for a change (and no: for the record nasty car park raves in deepest East London do not constitute outdoor pursuits). With a race for the Brockwell Lido Perpetual Trophy (catchy), cyclophilic screenings including Belleville Rendezvous, a raffle to win one of two obscenely unique Brixton Bicycle Art contraptions-of-joy … yes and don't forget the cool touch of an outdoor pool to cure those end-of-long-weekend blues.