UBS Long Weekend
I love how the crunch has brought back the punk in all of us. Bands have started making angry music again; everyone's started throwing BYO DIY house parties; Oxfam's launching a DIY campaign; and ta-daa, this weekend's UBS Long Weekend extravaganza chez Tate is all 'bout Doing It Yourselves too. Keep your eye out for guerrilla parties on the front lawn, a playtent by HungaMunga, and of course the chance to clamber all over Robert Morris's classic installation, Bodymotionspacesthings.

Walpurgis Nacht
In mysterious tunnels below London Bridge, the accursed (read: lovely) Hendrick's Walpurgis Nacht brigade of demonic ruffians will take you to hell and heaven, and back again… Learn how to pole dance, listen quietly to legendary storytellers, watch bloody performances and dance to the first ever DJ set by the award winning composer behind The Piano, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, and innumerable other classics: Michael Nyman himself.

Journey To The Centre Of The Earth
Doesn't a full-scale multi-room dress-up beast of a night, offering outstanding live music, death-defying and mind-boggling feats of dexterity with chainsaws, alchemists fusing swing, big band and hip-hop, toe-tapping ditties and dizzying aerial acrobatics under UV light, all acrossmultiple themed rooms just sound a tiny, weeny bit more fun than staying in and watching a 12-hour Mighty Boosh box set? Thought so.

Carters Steam Fair
Come one, come all, 'coz the circus is back in town! So buff up those quiffs and rockabilly creepers, guys; dust down your drainpipes and take your darlin' out for a ride in the retrotastic dodgems, show off your prowess with a cork rifle (not a metaphor), and make her scream with pleasure on the ol' swingboat (neither's that) as the super ol' school Carters Steam Fair spends three full days in Vicky Park.

Street Fest
Summer = festivals. A simple equation, to be sure. But sadly not all of these big ol' get-togethers are a mere bus ride from your front door. So, just on the off chance that you're not going to make it to either Bristol (yesterday) or Nottingham (today) for Dot To Dot, here's your alternative. A block party in the truest sense, expect music galore, film screenings, live street art, and a plethora of food stalls to keep you going.

Mulletover Summer Close Down
So you had a full on weekend. You partied three nights straight. You say you're never drinking again. Boo hoo. Why don't we let you in on a little secret: it's the last mulletover party until October, as the crew will be going on a little holiday. So this is your last chance. And seriously, what else is that Bank Holiday Monday meant for but just lying in bed with The Fear?

Worthless
Ever wondered what Tracy Emin can do with a Viagra pill? Well you might just find out at this weekend's Worthless work shop. Inspired by the recession (sorry, here we go again) and set up to make something good of something bad, Worthless is a live art installation exploring the value of your most worthless items, where a team of Pollocks transform them into pieces of art that pay homage to the Brits' ultimate recession icon: Woolies (sigh)

The Book Club Boutique
You remember books, don't you? Funny little papery buggers full of words? Yes, yes, I know. In these days of 24 hour internet addiction, it's easy to forget the old favourites. Which is where an absolute diamond of literary salvation like this comes in - where sterling authors and spoken word artists combine with music, drinks and conversation to create a distinctly unpretentious air of actual, you know, fun. Oh, and books too. Yes, that's the point after all. Sort of.